Every morning I wake up, look at the mirror usually in disgust and sigh. Another day and nothing has changed. Every day there is a part of my body I do not like and nothing I do that day will change that. Today it happens to be my stretch marks, I wish they could just disappear, but the funny thing is I just overcame my insecurity about them, but something trigger it again. Before when they first appeared I was not pleased, used to wear long sleeves or anything that would cover them and tried various methods to reduce the marks on my body, but nothing worked, I didnt want people asking what is that or looking at me strangely. However as time went on, I had to adapt and just get used to it, soon after my confidence came back, until recently. i have had them for some years now but really cant stand them, but nothing I can do, sooner or later it will go or it might not go it’s just something I have to get used to.
Another problem is my weight, I used to be a size 14 couple of years ago but somehow dramatically lost about 15kg in less than 6 months without gym or diet. Everyone around me thought I was sick but I wasn’t sick, don’t know what happened, but guess what happened it was peer pressure, I got tired of the looks and the questions why you so fat? sigh. But it wasn’t planned for me to lose weight it was all in my subconscious, I just couldn’t eat more than once a day and it was a small quantity if I did. It affected me in so many ways, emotionally, mentally and physically. I got myself back on track but because I lost the weight so quickly and in an unhealthy way, its come back to haunt me :(.
One thing I hate is when people pick out your insecurities and make it worse for you, as if you don’t have enough low self esteem already. Believe me everyone is beautiful in their own way. I just cant stand people who have fun making anyone else feel bad about themselves because of the way they look, usually the people that do that are mostly insecure and want to take the attention off themselves to someone else.
Parts of me I do not like: my tummy, arms, height (every time am remembered how short I am 😦 ), cheeks *covers face*, and sometimes I battle with my skin tone.
One thing I know I will never do is have surgery that is just extreme unless it was for health reasons. Celebrities do not exactly help either, as majority are all skinny to the bone and their pictures in magazines are Photoshop but that’s what girls my age group are looking at and aspiring to be. Its not wrong to want to be healthy but do not take it too far, everyone has their limit.
Ok the negatives out of the way, lets talk positive.
I have mentioned some parts of me I do not like, but there are parts I do, come on we got to love ourselves, if you don’t, it would be hard for people around you to. If you want to watch what you eat do that, but don’t hate yourself if you pig out time to time, you are only human and am guilty of that. I love my food, nothing can take that away. Join your local gym, which I have and if it helps, get a friend or couple and go to the gym together to motivate each other. Set yourself a goal and try to achieve it and once you have achieved it, get yourself a reward, push hard if you have to. Bad habits are hard to kill.
Parts of me I do like: my eyes, my smile, my hair, my lips and am ok with the other parts.
Everyone goes through stages of hating their body, that is just who we are but do not forget to love yourself. Also don’t forget when you look good, you feel good :). Invest in yourself.