What’s got you scared?

I do not know why am writing this, when I have a topic in my head, I just like to put it out there.  I want to ask a question what is that one thing you are afraid of? that keeps you up at night, or creeps in the middle of your day? Fear is in every human being, there is something that everyone is scared of, no matter how big your faith is.  It is a fight between faith and fear.

From the dictionary Fear is described as “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain,etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or images (1)condition of being afraid.” 

I woke up this morning from a bad dream that had got me scared, the spirit of fear is a heavy one, it wears you down, restricts you and limits you. You hide and run do not want to  take that leap of faith.  I am the type of person there is something that has got me scared almost everyday, sometimes small, sometimes big, but it is usually always there.

As a 20 year old student  I have  the fear of many things for example; not getting a job I applied for or being interviewed for,  fear of not making it to heaven (have had doubts about myself), fear of not being good enough or disappointing my mum, fear of my future, not meeting my other half, silly but I do, not reaching my full potential or fulfilling my purpose in life, how the decisions I take now will affect my future. When it comes to deciding something that will affect my future, I take my timeeeeeee, I would like to know I had gotten enough information before I make the decision and if I feel rushed I would feel uncomfortable and possibly turn my back on that decision, there are a few times I have done that.  I started with business management and marketing for my course in Uni, less than half way through the year, I was already having doubts and luckily enough I was able to change at the end of my first year without having to the repeat the year, Thank God for that.  This type of fear I believe is all about having faith in your God and in your self. If it does not feel right change it, do not let that fear hold you back.

There are some fears that can be dealt with depending on how much courage or boldness you have, I can be quite shy when it comes to expressing my feelings, shocking I know. When it comes down to telling someone how I feel be it anger, frustration, a crush hehe, maybe I feel cheated, or to even stand up for myself,  especially when I feel this way to a certain person. asking for help spiritually I would rather keep quiet, its not good but am working on it, The type of fear that keeps you quiet mostly because you do not know how the other person might react, most times its good to let it out because you will sleep better at night and that burden on your heart feels light.  There was a time I liked this guy but did not have the courage to tell him, (fear of not being liked back…) I liked him for like a year and a half *covers face* a couple of days after New Year I was talking to my male best friend and my cousin about it and they spoke called me a coward for not letting out my feelings, I felt bad and thought ok today I am going to let him know how I feel, and I did, it probably did not go the way I want it to go, but that is life, however I felt better because now it is out there and I know how he felt and also allowed us to move on with the friendship. It may not always go your way but having the courage to do it is key. After a while you will feel better and it gives you a chance to move on. So anyone you got in mind to talk to, talk to them in a amicably manner and if you can resolve the situation do it and whatever their reaction may be, take it humbly. You just know you have let your heart out. Speaking on that there are some people that I need to let my anger out on hmmmmm. Its not good to be angry for a long time, it can take a lot out of you, trust me I know, so release it and be free. If you can not still face up to telling the person, write a letter or email and if bold enough send it, did the same for my dad and it worked, we have a better relationship today 🙂

There are also the physiology side of fear, fear of heights, being claustrophobic, spiders (am not scared of spiders), not being able to sleep in the dark (i can) just listing some common ones. I was watching the Maury show one morning (its an american based talk show) and this episode was helping people deal with their fear, some people have some fears that may seem ridiculous to the rest of us but fear is fear no matter how big or small it may look to others, being scared of mustard might seem silly to you but someone out there is has that fear. You begin to wonder what caused it, Most of the time its the effect of that fear, like being scared of heights, you do not want to fall or die. I never realized my fear of height was so bad till  I went for a camping trip few years back with some school friends and teachers and we had a wall to climb as part of the activities, I climbed the way however coming down was the problem, I could not do it, I froze, everyone was encouraging me but NO there was nothing they could do, I took the stairs smh, but now I think I have improved.  It is all about the mindset, went on a trip to Paris and climbed the Eiffel Tower to the top, yes can you believe it, I was still scared but I did it, maybe shaking on the way down but once I reached the ground I was proud of myself lool. Even now going to theme parks, it takes a lot of persuasion to get me on rides, most of the time with my eyes closed lool but I do it, feel the rush and later want to do it again. With this type of fear it takes time but if you are willing to get better you will and it would make a difference.

I know this is such a looooooong post but I hope it was worth the read and helped you in some way. I am writing this at 8am in the morning with no notes, so hope you have enjoyed it and you can also raise some points, love to read your comments.

Have a great day and stay blessed xx

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