Before my 18th birthday, 3 years ago, I wrote a letter to my father (actually more of an email) expressing my thoughts about him and how I felt he was like a dad. He was not the best and we had more downs than ups and some days I would be crying why doesn’t my dad love me, yes it was that deep. Then a day came when I thought I’ve had enough and thought it was time I told him how I felt. I couldn’t call him and just blast him, he is my dad, and I still got to respect him. So I decided to write it down and send it to him. I am not sure if I should post what I wrote.
There is a point to me writing this. The back story to this is that, my parents got divorced while I was very young and I only saw my dad a handful of times, before I decided to write the letter. So I jotted my letter down on paper, and then typed it to send to his email. I paused and started to think, do I need to? Like what if this doesn’t really make a difference, then I thought sometimes we need to tell our parents how we feel and not bottle things in, also I got nothing to lose and pressed send. I went to bed still thinking about it, but eventually slept off leaving it in God’s hands.
Let me tell you this, I had never woken up so happy in my life, so free, everything just felt right with the world, like my friends were asking me why I was so happy that day, I didn’t know myself. Life just felt so good and I had peace and joy that morning. Even that night I dreamt I was being freed. Like chains came off.
I got into school, and my phone starts ringing…its my dad and I thought uh oh. I picked it up and my dad was like he saw my email and there are some things we need to talk about, I told him I was in school and could he call me back later. Later that evening me and him had a long good conversation.
Now I’m almost 21 (:D) I’m just reflecting on that day. That day there was a change, we have a better relationship today and I thank God for that. I do not know what made me send the email but I’m glad I did. I know my dad is also trying to make things better with me. I have gotten used to him not being there but I do appreciate him being in my life. The last time I saw him (last month) he told me he wants me to come every month, my heart smiled. Definitely we have come a long way and I just hope we keep getting better.
I am the type of person that I can not stand kids that disrespect their parents. Like who on earth do you think you are talking to your parents like that. I deeply appreciate my mother for every single thing she has done and is doing and would be deeply hurt to see her disappointed. We need to appreciate our parents, show them love too, surprise them and cherish them. If you are blessed with two parents, treasure it. If your mum or dad are single parents, they are the true heroes. Yes they get on our nerves or you feel they don’t understand. Talk to them and reason with them. Some parents are just stubborn and it will take the grace of God to soften them so keep praying :). Also remember there are some things our parents see that we don’t see, so sometimes its wise to listen to them. (Learnt that the hard way). Just evaluate the relationship you have with your parents and that should help you decide which is the best way to approach them. Parents should also show love to their children and be supportive. My mum is very supportive of me and was smiling like a baby the day my dad told me he is proud of me. At the end of the day, we don’t control who our mother or father is, but we do have control over what we invest and how we nurture those relationships.
Let me leave you with these two verses.
“Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you. ” Exodus 20:12
“Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]” Colossians 3:21