I have been quiet on this blog for a couple of years and I knew this year was the year I wanted to come back to blogging. As usual, a lot has happened in the last few years that I don’t know where to start. I am back, better than before, renewed and refreshed. I hope you will stick with me as I draw inspirations from my journey.
My relationship with God over the last couple of years has been a rollercoaster. 2016 was probably one of my most difficult spiritually. I felt so lost. I was not happy with where I was in terms of career, life and my relationship with God. I needed to sort my life out. I felt unfulfilled and without purpose. I remember crying every other day because I didn’t know what I was doing anymore, probably thinking you are young, why the worry, I can’t really answer that but my heart was heavy. I can remember a day I was at work and I had to run to the toilet because I could not hold back the tears anymore, calling my mum that I wanted to quit my job that very day and just go into hiding. She asked me why? how would I cope? She told me to hold on and everything would be ok. I was tired but I held it together and I said a prayer as I was truly broken before going back to face my customers. This verse came to mind ‘True sacrifice to God is a broken spirit. A broken and chastened heart, God, you will not despise’ Psalms 51 v 17 ISV. It gave me some peace and lifted some of my burden heart.
As we entered 2017 I prayed for change to come and I don’t know how it would come but I needed something to shift in the way I related to God and everything else in my life. God did not disappoint me.
Begining of 2017 I joined a WhatsApp bible study group, which has been an important part of my growth and stability that I needed. I needed to fall in love with God again. Remember when you first got saved and all you wanted to do was have one on one with God all the time. I wanted to be back to this place where all I needed was him.
Loving God requires more than just saying I love you and you just reading the bible, it takes a conscious effort, because you need to incorporate him in everything about you. He needs to come first (still have days I struggle with this). Loving God through worship, through your actions and how you relate to people. I say I love God but I wasn’t acting like it so things had to change from there. I became more conscious of how I spent my time. I had to seek him first in everything, this is still being worked on day in and day out, but because of my yearning for him in teaching me how to love him, he was teaching me how to love people too. To truly know how to love is to love God’s way.
5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.
Deut 6 v 5-6 NIV
I had to learn to love God with everything, mind, body and spirit. When you love someone you wouldn’t want to do something that would hurt them or want to disappoint them. God’s Love for us is so pure and such freedom in it. His Love is full of joy and assurance. You will be smiling for no reason. If we draw our attention away from the distractions of the world and put our focus more on God’s Love and knowing how to love him, everything gets better. There will be ups and downs but God’s Love conquers all. There is everlasting peace in his love and he wants all of us to experience that. If you find it difficult to love the people around you, focus on loving God, he will give you the heart to love others. Those are the two greatest commandments as doing these two makes it easier to follow the others. Love God , Love People.
Just take a moment today to love on God, not for anything he has given you but because of who he is. Tell him how you really feel, good or bad and be still in his presence as he speaks to you.