I wrote this sometime last year, but I was not sure about sharing it here. I had a different idea about how to share this, but it would be too time-consuming for me at the moment. I went for the next best option, writing. These are just some of my thoughts on the topic of love and what it means to me. I have a lot to say or should I say write. I have attempted to break it into parts, which I will be posting in subsequent weeks. From my thoughts to your eyes, hope you enjoy reading this.
The lyrics to Travis Greene’s song – “Love always win” popped into my head as I was thinking of what and how to write this because, to be honest, I do not think I am experienced enough to talk about love or relationships. I am an observer so I guess that counts for something. I have only been in one relationship which I would not consider as one because I broke up with him less than 6 months in. If I am being honest with myself, the relationship shouldn’t have happened. However, He is in a good place so am I.
My current headspace is that I am single and ready to mingle. But I like being single, and at the same time want to be with someone. It seems as though the people I like don’t seem interested and for the ones that do like me, I have no interest in them. I can be picky as well (my friends say so)…So you see my dilemma- God save me.
This is about what I think about love. This is not me lamenting on my singlehood.
As humans, we are fascinated by love and it is something we want, that is why there are a million songs written about love. We love love. There is someone out there for everyone. I always describe myself as a hopeful romantic, maybe that is down to watching too many romcoms (one of my guilty pleasures). A couple of my favourites are “Love Rosie” and “To all the boys I’ve loved before”. I find there is something beautiful about two people who are head over heels in love with each other – it makes my heart smile. Although I have had to fight through loneliness, abandonment issues, feeling worthless, being a people pleaser so that I can be accepted, I am still hopeful in love and that will never change.
I am a big softie when it comes to love and I am not ashamed of it for others but I run from it when it comes to me. I stay guarded because I don’t want to be hurt or go through the emotions. I do not like to admit when I like someone because I think it will hurt less and will be easier to move on. I find it easier to let go now than a few years ago as my energy is being used elsewhere. I guess it is easier if you keep meeting guys that are not worth your time or treat you like rubbish.
God is Love
Before I fully dive in, I have to say the definition of Love is God. Love is God and God is love, I have to get that in first of all.
1 Corinthians 13 v 4-8 states that Love is patient, is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not self-seeking….. Someone once said when you are dating substitute the word love in the passage for your partner’s name in the verses and – examine if you see the virtues in that person. Olamide is patient, Olamide is kind, Olamide does not envy…. you get the drift. I find that so true because you can see the person through those scriptures if they show these virtues. Some people might compromise on some things and some might not have everything but as Christians, the word of God is a mirror of who we should be, and I guess this would be a great starting point.
The way God loves us is unconditional, through all our flaws and faults, in the times we run from Him, don’t talk with Him, He is always there. I am amazed at times by how much God loves me. This takes me back to a couple of years ago while in my room completely frustrated. I was talking to God about how I felt and I can’t explain what happened next but I know I felt a piece of God’s love over me. It was really overwhelming and I started to cry like a baby. It was so heavy and peaceful at the same time. I couldn’t explain it but I needed it. When I think about love I think about calmness, peace and immeasurable joy, which I know only God can give. Seek God’s love first before you go seeking it elsewhere.
Part two will be up next week friday, which is about love is about actions than feelings and the challenges of dating as a christian woman.
Stay safe and stay blessed xx
P.S A friend got me Relationship Goals by Pastor Mike Todd, so perfect timing for this. When I finish it, I will write my thoughts about it.