What makes a Relationship Work?

A few years ago, love languages blew up and people haven’t stopped talking about it.  My love language is acts of service and words of affirmation (how I receive love) but how I show love is slightly different. I still show by acts of service but I love to give gifts rather than receiving them. Weird right. You are actually supposed to show love how your partner receives them so this might change when I get into a relationship.  It is important to understand each other’s love languages and try to adapt. I think everyone has an element of quality time in theirs because that’s how you grow in love. Someone once said that communication breeds intimacy and I truly agree, the more you communicate and are open, the more intimate you become.

God, communication, trust, friendship, forgiveness and respect are personally what I feel makes a relationship work. God is involved in everything I do and any decision I make. It will take me listening to him to truly understand how to be humble and submissive. Communication is very important, it is not just good to talk but good to listen. Do not just listen to respond, listen to understand and clarify what you do not understand, never make assumptions. People need to spend time to talk about most things through the process of dating or courtship such as money matters, family, careers, goals, ambitions, kids etc. It is also important to talk about the hard stuff. Don’t just talk about the easy stuff.  If you don’t trust who you are with what is the point, do you trust them with your secrets, your flaws, your problems? Can you truly be vulnerable and know they won’t use it against you?. 

People can be vicious and the last person you need against you is your partner. They should always be in your corner, even when you are wrong, they should correct you privately and not publicly. Friendship I believe is a good foundation. I want to be friends with the man I marry, best of friends as this is for a lifetime and can’t exactly be enemies. I feel a lot more comfortable being friends first but there’s no timeline to this. This quote comes to mind when I think about forgiveness ‘a good marriage is a union of two good forgivers’ and that pretty much sums it up. Someone you truly respect will hold you in high regard and won’t want to disappoint them, you will respect their values, opinions and their person. People say I love you but still cheat and I think that is because they do not respect the person they are with. It takes more than love, but in all this love is still the glue. 

Everyone needs and wants to be loved, anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves because as humans that is one thing we crave and to be loved right. When you are loved right, your whole world makes a lot more sense and it elevates you in ways you never realise. Love done right is so beautiful to see. 

What are your love languages? Is the way you receive and give love differently? Leave a comment below 

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